My son turns one in two weeks!!!

Wow... my son turns one year old in a few weeks. It seems like just yesterday I was holding him like a Waterford crystal vase and marveling at how small he seemed. Now, I'm hanging him by his ankles, throwing him in the air, and marveling at how heavy he has become. Crazy!!

What I've learned about myself from last 4-11 to now. Being a father is amazing... I can't wait to see him in the morning when I wake up and when I return from the office. Additionally, I have found myself incredibly hypersensitive to him... his schedule... his naps... how much he's eating.... is he learning enough each day?

Furthermore, I now worry about the craziest stuff... stuff I wouldn't have even believed if some other father had warned me prior to his birth. Has my son pooped today...yesterday? How many ounces of formula has my son had today? Why is he eating the same total amount of ounces at 11 months that he was eating at 4 months... only in less feedings? Does his Penis seem small? LOL!!!! I'm kidding? Am I? LOL!!!!

I've also learned somethings about myself that I'm not particularly fond of.... including that my patience level isn't what I thought it was before becoming a father. And this was one thing I had prided myself on when considering fatherhood. I've learned that I get frustrated when Kendall doesn't do what he usually does... which is nap well and sleep through the night. I want routine.. consistency... and to expect the same thing each day. With a baby, that's just reality. There are times Kendall just won't nap, which frustrates me because I had planned to use his nap time for some other activity or chore. There are times Kendall doesn't want to go to sleep at night... and he cries and cries until he makes himself vomit. This bothers me. I find myself saying to him, in a typical adult voice... "If you'd just fall asleep instead of going beserk... you wouldn't have throw up on your sleeper and sleep sack". Like Kendall can understand me.... at 11.5 months. Hell, maybe he can... and he throws up just because he knows it irritates me. He doesn't do it every night, probably not even once a week, but it still bothers me. Kendall, are you trying to just keep me honest and confirm to me that life isn't routine, consistent, and I shouldn't expect the same thing everyday?

If you are.... keep doing it... cause I love you either way.